Thursday, February 03, 2011

sand dollar fortunes

Love,
work those hands until
they are knotted and cramped,

build sand castles with your grandmother
your sister, your lover
search out those razor clams,
sand dollar fortunes.

take that pile of mud and coil it
round, round into a pot.
your pinky, wrist, or waist
may play its mold, or base.
paint it, seal it with a star dusted glaze;
stand within an inch of the kiln as it bakes.

write yourself a love note every day,
write your child advice she'll never see;

create lists of your dreams,
blog your heartaches, and day breaks
celebrate your triumphs and trials,

look to wide open spaces,
camp under the stars,
take to the rapids,
and hike that rocky path along your soul.




Thursday, December 23, 2010

archive of dreams

there is you
archive of dreams
pen to paper, blue lines filled in script
murals of words from 1992
beginning, streaming
7am till end of day
you must have woke at three
or never slept

mechanics of midsummer
playing out in your head
behind and before
your eyes
indeed
you haven't slept

you're young yet
it doesn't show in your skin
in your hair, not felt in your hips

in 1992
what makes us old
before our time
hasn't been streamlined
scanned, publicized

only script tucked away
paper files, kept hidden
reserved for exploration
later
archived dreams,
from the road:

a rose for your name
Tamika's shack
backbone spine
van ride
where secrets are spilled
broken hearts mended;
choice is always yours
even as you jump from its doors.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Gobble, gobble

wine and dine me:

big 'ole box of wine
orange buttermilk dinner rolls,
green bean casserole,
sweet potato pie -

Run, Turkey, run.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Glory Hole

It is as if your mind is sharpened to the razor’s edge,

senses sharp, a fine point.


You can feel the crispness of autumn on your back,

at your peripheral is, mutually,

the blue sky and orange glow of the glory hole.


Your hand knows its path

(it should it’s followed it repetitively in practice),


and is working its way up slowly, slowly

to dislodge the plastic dinosaur from the sand.


Scattered around your knees

are the remnants of imprints

that came before the dinosaur:

Barbie’s head, a corroded piece of metal,

the slinky, a piece of bark.


Pieces to be forgotten, imprints to be filled

with molten glass, cooled, then on to bake in Super Freak.


This moment is not about what you have to do,

it is not about the next keystroke,

or what is to come -

It is about the sharpness of your senses and the steadiness of your hand.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

time in coming

he'll write you love

letters from the attic
before he sneaks
down the steps
to catch a glimpse
of your world
the tween sketch comedy
absorption of days,
the deepset evening sky,

its thunderous doubt,
lightening strikes
absoluteness

you'll save love

letters composed of
song lyrics,
his kiss goodnight,
and in a moment of
weakness, you'll
retract, flush it all

but between your fingers,
folded in upon itself again,
read infinitely,
behind bold eyes
cross legged on the floor
in front of that old chest -

time in coming
will circle around
itself again

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Henry

Forever playmate,
Mentor to the feral grey -
Loving spirit guide.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

at the mumma's

there's this frog,
sitting on a plant,
sitting in the fountain,
staring at me,
posturing,
as flower petals fall
into my coffee cup.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Gossamer Moon

rises above our converted barn,
the farmhouse roof


ignites flames
in your eyes,
marries with
the bonfire
at our feet
as voices lift;


the future of PeaceCorps, CSAs,
homegrown local circles
of communion at once
drawn in the dirt.


Only a spark,
a pencil,
those ice cream stains,
a broken heart,
a marriage,
a child,
a bit of tie line,
or recycled flat



remains
of the last story.



Tonight, though -
a child alchemist
weaves, enchants
four legged quarks
into gold.


Voices rise
as we complicate,
disintegrate, break down
into soft giggles over spilled wine.


Eons earlier a climb,
the dreamgiver's dance
up scaffolding in dreadlocked blue.


Now around the fire,
soured remnants of glitter mix
with lager, lipstick -



a virgin will sleep beneath
the ghost light tonight.



Shifting scenes dissolve between
nightmares of fourteen hour days,


her smile, ringing laughter
after the first mosquito bite of summer;


a mug of rum around the bonfire,
the excitement of the child alchemist;


a spark,
a pencil,
those ice cream stains,
a broken heart,
a marriage,
a child,
a bit of tie line,
and recycled flat;




our rising
Gossamer Moon.

Monday, April 26, 2010

QUIP

signs on the road
Horse and Buggy, right
Christ's Home Office, to the left
Paradise Pre-Owned.

~

arrival
two white, single beds
a chair. White pages turning
among these white walls.

~

alarm clock
bacon to wake you
local greens sustain the soul,
prayer for the eating.

~

on the road
resilience in peace
slips by, seven hours past:
a petrified glen.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

birthday wishes

in all this desire
uncertainty
i forget
balloons in the bathtub.

images of catastrophic
proportions
dance before
i can place myself asleep.

i awake in the worst
state of mind
angry and sick
until i think

New York in the Spring -

Mimosas at the window
a Broadway show
watching the tumblings
of spies in training

leaping over benches
coffee on the lake
rock band
making my way in the rain

riding the subway
you looked deep
"We could be in love"
"For a day"

Balloons in the bathtub until then.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Sara Waxman...

is exploring LINCs of universal truth. including (but not limited to) Shakespeare, Myth, and Creation ~ don't be fooled. there are such things as dragons, you only have to look up to catch one in your palm ~ wrote the president ~ brain is slip-sliding out her ears ~ that boy can still make you swoon ~ likes pizza and beer. and terrible cop dramas. too much, in fact ~ is barefoot with a beer for her last night in the Big House ~ DO NOT EAT A HABANERO PEPPER NO MATTER WHO DARES YOU. GODDAMN ~ grilled salmon, eggplant, port mushrooms, and chilled wine + some sun = fantastic ~ i can't believe my mother is cursing on facebook ~ your past and future precisely divided. don't take another step ~ barefoot, still ~ wants nothing but the stars ~ end days, day's end, tomorrow's start ~ thinks facebook bday wishes are the best. that and balloons in the bathtub ~ is a summer thunderstorm ~ river wild, river child ~ has my fly been down this whole time?????? ~ is thinking of....

in the making

updates from 2009


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

New Moon

Slivered almonds,
A half pear.
A long walk
Spiced nostrils,
Fresh cut pasta
24 shrimp
and parsley.

Friday, September 25, 2009

facebook

I feel you there,
blurred around the edges.
Can you feel me here,
this patience game
I'm playing -

A swell at the base of my spine,
an act of divinity or
the dorment
beast waking
with the sunrise -

For every misstep taken
I lie in waiting,
for a time when
the hopped, mist edges
of gold fill your lungs.

When the sky alights
with fireflies,
miles away you kiss
another's misguided flame,
ask questions with no right answer;

and flit across fingertips.

A Prayer Worth Posting

Green, is
the color of envy, and
so is her jacket, so
in its folds remember, the
strength needed, by another
to match breathing, calm
your nerves to sleep, think
who would do this for you, and
who would you in return, imagine
who to care for,
sit

face

be
there for, pace
yourself until you've
mastered, the art of
digesting deception, and
well meaning intentions,
as the moon doesn't lie
and neither will dreams -

so let the green of her jacket
melt into the grass and pass
through the earth until it
is absorbed by space and
the infinite beyond.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Five Year Plan

You ask
as the ambulances pass,
What's waiting?

and I deflect,
throw back

after seeing
a broken man
lying by the
side of the road,
a strong woman
in grey uniform
standing at his side.

What's waiting?

Flashing lights to our right
to the left, no sirens yet
the tears nearly brimming
I pull back
to the river, the churning
waters of Dimple
and the flip of the raft.

What's waiting for
you is your son
awake, happy
waiting for you
waiting to walk

and instead of what's waiting
I think on what we've just left -

Two years spent
dreaming and scheming
wasted hours in
negative space -

instead
now
finally
after an eternity
the strength,
the power of
the river
churns my
day to day.

I don't want to
dream of what's waiting,
of my five year plan.

I want what I have in
the space we've just left.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Match.com



The locals describe the festival as a "modern day Woodstock". It's earthy, and dirty, and reminds me of my youth group days, where as teenagers, we used to sit out under the stars at retreats and talk the night away. Bonnaroo has (I think) about 100,000 attendees each year (maybe more). All camping, dancing, drugging, and sunning together. There are three stages and three tents where bands play, the main stage is the "What Stage", the second largest playing space is the "Which Stage", there's also "This Tent", "That Tent", and "The Other Tent". There are vendors lining the paths, a ferris wheel, and a freak show with fire eaters and a peep show.

As you walk to the freak show, you'll pass a community art project tent. Hanging from the trees above are giant raindrops. They have wooden frames, and are hung from wire cabling. On blankets outside the community tent (and on tables inside) people paint squares, mixing eco-friendly paint on cardboard palettes. As days pass, the raindrops become covered in cardboard squares painted in water tones: shades of blues, greens, yellows. As they finish, artists turn in their squares and the workers twist a nail through the top of each piece, then attach each to a raindrop. Later when a raindrop is completely covered, workers fly them up into the trees.



One of my squares was an interpretation of the henna painted on my arm - the earth meeting the sea in swirls of blue and green, never touching, an inch or less from meeting. My second, a dedication to one of my favorite songs. On it was a big blue head with a golden crown. Later at the Phish show, someone was passing around name tags, and I became, "Prince Caspian". During Phish's second concert, the song was played in the second set.

But what I will remember most happened in the lull between Phish's sets on the last night. Allison, Carl, and I sat where we stood for the first set. Then small talk: We are all from Philadelphia, although Allison and I have never met Carl. Carl is a stand up comedian by night. I work at People's Light by day. Allison works at the National Constitution Center...Then Carl asks if Allison knows Nora Berger-Green, who got him an acting job in The Laramie Project at Arcadia. And I remember that he was the best thing in that show, that we couldn't stop asking "Who is THAT?" And the only answer we ever received was "He's a Grad student." So, Allison says - "I'm directing a piece called Four Dry Tongues. Would you want to be in it?" I say, "Do it. You were the best thing in Laramie." And so Allison casts a piece for the Philadelphia Fringe at Bonnaroo, in Tennessee. A part she has been turning over in her brain since weeks before the trip, and which she was never quite able to cast. On the trip home she asks if I will Stage Manage/Assistant Direct, and I say yes.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

almost broken

Mirror, you are cracked
seven years bad luck.
Snapped shut, denied a last cigarette.

Thirteen splintered edges,
seven refracted pieces,
carried in a purse.

Mirror, you are shattered,
cracked, refracted beyond repair.
Seven years, now seven sutured scars.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

untitled

Currently
stretching
a giant carrot
across the room.

As it twist turns
from orange to purple to blue,

remind the students
that a white wall
can be any color they choose
because

white reflects all color into light.

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Disintegration of Matter

The persistence of memory
Splitting
across conflicting schools of thought –

Suspended over the exterior world,
I am
immersed in the interior
landscape of the mind.

The uncertainty principle of
the exterior world
criss-crosses against
my father Freud
to a point where
all I can see is
a wedding dress
and broken glass.

The barren landscape
points in no other direction but
towards nuclear physics
and the annihilation of
Hiroshima.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

wordplay

my mouth
runs away
from my brain.

the other day
i inadvertently
mentioned
in a question

that i thought
my boss suggested
i sleep with her husband.

A Face I Will Never Forget

Today
Frannie and I met for lunch.
New Wave Cafe
has excellent salads
and bacon crisped
with charred edges
that melt in your mouth.

I saw Bones across the street.
I noticed his ribs first, his foster mother second.
She stopped at our table on her pass
back to their home in Queen Village.

He has the sweetest eyes
when you pet him
he looks up to you,
it's as if he knows
that this moment
is forever,
that this day
is the only one,
and your hand
on his head
is all he needs.

If you stop
he will wait
for you to come back
for your finger tips
to find his chin.
All those scars
aren't getting
deeper, nor lighter either,
and they can wait -
for he is his namesake,
he will always
be Bones -

But for one moment
on the corner of
a clear, crisp day
with a breakable sky,
Bones has his moment
and I have mine.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Mr. White;

i built a wall.
it was exhausting.
but i also got to build angle wings.
and create a human sociograph, bar graphs.
i took a journey
where i met a woman
from the 1800s who wore gloves
to hide the red dye on her fingertips.
she told me she is leaving her husband
and of her dye brush,
hidden behind the house,
left for her daughter to find.

i'm working on completing the story.

i noticed how in philly
the sky comes to the tip of the trees
or the flat of the rooftops
depending on which side of my axis
you stand on.
never the ground.

i talked to david bradley.

the something we created
was filled with overlapping voices;
poetry,
cardboard symbolism,
child's play,
musical instruments
created out of the floor.

i built a wall to protect myself
but stripped down to uncover
Lady Jane.

it was

exhausting.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

the moon shifted
it's telling yesterday.

always smiling right
before they leave-

maybe it's not
a Warning,

the hazed grin,
laughing whisper,
of limitations,
all his misgivings -

but instead
a reminder
to stay me.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Sara

laughs when i say the "h" is extraneous.

i watch as she decorates a cookie
green with purple icing,
swirling ties that shift
with a small flick of her wrist.

he says, "it's very asian."

behind a self deprecating smile
she replies "exactly as planned".

she can't know
the choice she made
two years ago
shifted my universe
completely,

set me here

watching intently -


i have cultivated
an apathetic manner
for moments such as these.

she hands over hot apple cider,
keeps whiskey and water,
as i paint a lopsided
christmas tree a purple stump,
green leaves, adding a fudged star,
and little gingerbread men
all too small for the scene.

not exactly the
styling i was going for
but i was distracted
as i am

watching

this
ethereal woman
i've never met
in my dreams.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Neutral Scene

A: It's so weird in here
B: yes
A: Where's your team
B: offsite
A: ...
B: tomorrow
A: ...
B: what will all this look like
A: An outer line - extending out
B: i've seen
A: Inside a room
B: and here
A: Much like there
B: like there
A: Like here
B: good
A: Yes
B: no cattle stalls i hope

A:

Friday, October 17, 2008

torn out, magnolia tree

mental block rim front -
plush grey dust bunnies
at my eyelids
jump in unison
to block your
question before me -
plans fall fast
as yesterday spirals
out my ears
in iridescent webs
before the imprint
can settle behind my eyes -
what day it is
fades fast from memory
as thought lines,
venn diagrams,
drip down and out
to twist upon the matted tissue
in my lap -
webfoot ed
falsify ed memories
form streams of
needless excuses
on shredded kleenex

as walls break way
with the annihilation
of an age.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

while you were in the bathroom...

spherical / metamorphosis
cocooning in ourselves
exponential / expansion
revolving out upon itself
iridescent / web
trapping us between -

you and me

and this tangent
on the American Dream.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

city hall/suburban

forest under the subway/concrete secretions/blue peaking through/just past/ a soothsayer's broken arm/midnight calling to the morning rush/hush/walking on/two blind prophets sing/ one speak easy guide dog/an armed guard towering above/wishing well/a change charmer's silver bowl

offering up

a quarter of his worth.

shelf life

i'd break those glass eyes
if we didn't have long range
planning to get through.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

untitled

Tonight
is a night
to sit on the moon.
Hammock in misty,
hopped edges of gold.
Tongue the stars
until black clouds
envelop the sky.

Monday, August 04, 2008

a!

she says over mock meatballs,
vegetable egg rolls,
sweet and sour sludge:
"...it's a heavy burden -
having the capacity to
return to the past,
while simultaneously
looking to the future...
in case i've missed it:
...this human brain."
cowbuoy-ed bear
catty
foe collar-ed:
proud

wear your sweatshirts

find time to
send images
of baby hippos:
frail

skeletal
purple speckled
guinea rats

remind me
how you wouldn't

ever

put something out there
unless you could
speak it face to face

and for god sake
find me in the hallway
mid-break to dance.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

of rosaline

Out, damned spot,
Out.
I command you
back, into the recesses

stop your fishing
act
Reeling me in to hook
me line and sinker

To you I say
Out
of grace, to you I
say be free
no apologies
just leave.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Sunday is My Birthday

and they've dredged Hillcrest Pond.

Drawn out the water, left a gaping hole -
that had always been, never seen.

Looks how my soul felt this morning -
sludge and mud, with a few brave ducks
carefully stepping among the rocks,
some trying to swim in an inch of water.

At left there is a stone wall
that keeps the river
where Odysseus sailed
through siren song -
Calypso -
the water monster -

Odysseus survived
thanks to the fishing line
we secured to his waist
and the death defying leap he
made into my hands
as Steve ignited the ship.

I siphoned gas from the lawnmower in my parents' garage,
Steve threw the match into ship's hull;
sprang the giant flames we chased down river,
once we realized we set a gasoline fire we couldn't stop.

Sunday is my birthday,
they've dredged Hillcrest Pond -

And somewhere there is a vhs,
where Odysseus
sails upon sirens,
lands upon Calypso,
and escapes unscathed
from his burning ship.

Friday, June 13, 2008

to amelia

completely, at a loss.

duelling stormed seas mus've
caught you, sucked you to the
bermuda triangle.

mornings were the best part -
trace your curves, soundlessly
take in last week's pin wheel
of stale cigarettes, each
complicated Haiku,
the circling race of the

3 am mistake.
styled mutiny this,
your blog, each line, run on
miles distant from this
still life of mine, lost in
the humdrum beat, mundane
as heartaches, daybreaks.

you left before we met.
yours was a reason, an
unexpected tread in
the waiting. cue the end.

No one can write the six
syllable line like you.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

In Light

Love,
in Light,
I am here.

Stay
in Waiting,
in Stillness,
with me
until
the night
dissipates.

Do not second
guess your
purpose.

You have faced
darkness before
renamed her
and reclaimed her,
Outlived her.

You will do it again,
and with more on your back,
in your bag,
than ever before.

Bags are meant
to be filled
to be carried
to be emptied
into the hand
of others.


Friend,
here there
are those that
love you and
are holding our
hands and hearts
out to you.

Accept this Light,
this Love,
and let's make
it right.

Be Still -

Even in
darkness
You
and I
We
All
want
you to
stay -


You


Though Today,
you may live
enwrapped in
Shadows -

Trust the Light,
it will guide
from the
Inside
Out.

Friday, May 30, 2008

10 Minutes

Ten minutes till the show starts
Ten minutes -

Dibbles says "Working furiously, I can hear you're typing."
Then mimics the sound as she walks away - dee dee dee.

I smile.

She didn't see my screen,
she counters back,
the ladies walk by on their way
to the show -
stopping to tell me of
food babies,
Dibbles glances at my screen,
then leaves.

I wonder what she saw.

A minute and a half, and I realize
I'm not writing anything
of importance
nothing to be remembered
except to say
I smiled.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Alma Jean

for everyone who leaves;
who rescinds on the job;
Fuck You;
and the horse you rode in on.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

buffering

truth lies
in love's non-existance,
life's breathe created
in sweat.

truth lies
in intellect, the solving
of small equations
1 + 1 = 2.

truth lies
in the 5am hour;
the lack of breathe
hearts open, hearts broken

truth lies
grows up, grows out
stops self medicating
on life , instead moves to death.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

playground

tree houses lined with grass ceilings/ flowering magenta hues/ blue lit houses inside houses with pillows to portals/ curtains of worn linen above the going on below where grown children play jump rope double dutch/ no bra holding their chest close their german lessons computer lessons philosphy discussions closer/ in sectioned off sections painted pregnant alligator love/
no rules/
but ladders everywhere/
a blacony for private screenings feet above astrid free/ face on a giant screen mutated smiling turning rythm of the avant garde choir functioning on a dock of wild rides/race saltine crackers sixty seconds flat/ share home made popcorn spill't on the floor/ drive in back out breakdown/ all in the game of Art.